We have all heard the famous saying that we become the product or average of the five people that we spend our time with.
Some relationships inspire us and lift us and other relationships are very draining to no extent. However, how would you know that a relationship is working for you or not? Simply you can ask yourself, after spending time with a specific person the following questions
-How do you feel?
-Do you feel a pump of energy, inspiration, and support?
-Do you feel encouraged and empowered?
Or, do you feel drained, disempowered, discouraged and maybe even worthless?
It is very important to monitor how you feel right after you walk away from a person, or a situation connected to that person.
To know if a relationship is working for you or not, it is important to discover who and what relationships are working for you but with awareness. To do so, follow the list below:
1. Make a list of the 25 people you spend most of your time with and score that life from a +5 to a -5 on how you feel right after you spend time with that person where +5 you feel so good and -5 you don’t feel anything positive after you leave that person.
2. Review the number you put beside each name carefully and with awareness. If the number is positive, ask yourself, how can you spend more time with them and if negative, how can you frame them and decrease your time with them.
3. If a relationship is negative, it does not mean that you have to end this relationship on spot. It doesn’t even mean that you need to confront the person because of their negativity. Maybe you don’t need to decrease the time spent with those people, however, change the way you react to them or their criticism.
4. Monitoring your reactions towards those people who are draining you will determine the way you feel after you leave them. Sometimes it is not the person, it is your reactions towards the person’s actions. For instance, if a person criticizes you, you are not obliged to take it personally or to even reply back. All you can do is just reflect and see if what they are saying is true or not. If yes, how can you improve it and if not, do NOT justify as this is the most draining part which is to try and defend yourself.