It is not “forgive and forget” as if nothing wrong had ever happened, but “forgive and go forward,” building on the mistakes of the past and the energy generated by reconciliation to create a new future. – Alan Paton
According to relationship coaches, often, people say they reconciled but they haven’t. They sometimes claim that they have forgiven but, they haven’t.
Best of all is when they say they will never forgive the person who had done them wrong, but claim that the same person does not cross their mind.
Some of the people who go to relationship coaches, may think that bese they have a conflict with their partner, it means that their relationship is not working out, conflict in a relationship is incredibly healthy. It’s a part of communication.
Most relationship coaches agreed upon that, that is why in the next few lines we will explain what are three conditions to guarantee pure, peaceful, and serene reconciliation.
1.Forgiveness
When you don’t forgive people, you weave bars of judgement and unforgiveness around you.
As Nelson Mandela said, “Not forgiving someone is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.”
We tend to think that not forgiving someone makes them miserable and is the ultimate punishment for them.
Unfortunately, we like to think so as it is the first type of revenge that we think of. However, it does not work out that way, not forgiving someone adds weight on our back, chest, and shoulders. It makes our souls heavy.
The ugly truth is that most people don’t really care whether we forgive them or not as sometimes they are not even aware whether we are grudging against them or not.
Overtime, the lack of forgiveness that we carry in our hearts and souls would fill us up with so much hate and anger that would not reflect on us and never the other person.
2.Opening A New Page
It is very important not to grudge against the other person after you have decided that you want to forgive them.
Reconciliation means welcoming them back into your life in a peaceful manner, therefore, it means forgetting that they had done to hurt you if they have apologized for it and you have accepted the apology.
Bringing out the past every time you have a chance to means that you have neither forgiven, nor started a new page.
3.Erase the Hurt
Reminding yourself and the other person of what they had done to hurt you is never a road to reconciliation. It only means that you are holding onto the pain which will never allow you to proceed forward with loving the person or even accepting their love.
Not having those three things is just like carrying a rock on your back because you would remember everything that they had done to hurt you and would make a conscious effort to remind yourself.
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