People often want to have children to extend their legacy in the world after they pass on. They treat their children as the arrow and think that they are the bow. They impose their dreams and passions on their children just like their parents had done to them and decide to live their dreams through their children.
Children can not be owned by their parents
Some parents impose a certain career on their child just because they did not study hard enough to achieve the percentage required to get admitted to the faculty which bridges you to that career.
Others who are unhappy in their marriage would impose their opinion on their children to marry a certain person thinking that they would be happy that way.
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According to the coaching point of view, Parents might unconsciously justify their actions with their children just because their parents had done the same with them.
Other times love would be their motive. However, sometimes it is the pain of the past that overwhelms the parent and so to release it they need to impose it on someone else into a never-ending vicious cycle. Coaching parents and children at this point is an essential thing to do.
What Does Bringing Up SomeOne Really Means?
One thing that coaching has taught parents, that they need to understand and acknowledge is that we made a decision to have bring a human being into the world.
However, any other decision is not ours to make. For instance, a small child who wants to wear clothes that do not match whatsoever, we do not have the right to stop them from doing so and finding joy in choosing their outfit.
The only reason why we would stop our child from doing so is our fear of people’s approval of our child’s appearance.
Evidently, their opinion of our child’s outfit would reflect on their opinion of us, therefore, we are treating our child in this context as an extension to us.
What Does Coaching Your Children Mean?
As apart of coaching, coaching your children and letting them make their own choices would help them become more suited individuals for the world, they would bear the consequences of their actions and decisions.
Our children are different human beings than ourselves that we cannot possess just because we brought them into the world. We must respect as parents that they have their own dreams, outlooks, insights, passions and we may not impose our failures and insecurities on them.
What Parents Coaching Should Teach Them?
Parents must be bold enough to live their dreams through themselves and not through their children because no matter what, the result of your child achieving your dream is out of your control which would make you experience failure all over again.
Your fear for your child is no excuse to stop them from living their life to their maximum potential. Your love for your child is not a reason for you to block them from establishing their entity in life and following their dreams and passions which come from within.
In conclusion, your intuition, authority and responsibility as a parent must only be there to protect your child when they cannot protect themselves. Most importantly, knowing when they are incapable of protecting themselves and when they are finally strong enough to make decisions for themselves is key to allowing your child to use their innate freedom to live their life the way they think is right and fulfilling.
Learn how you can coach yourself, and help your children as well from these series of videos for Dr. Ahmed Magdy: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PL8y2FpxMIxQFjwBD1o4cTIto-NhUUxafb