Raising a teenager is one of the hardest things that a parent can go through during their lifetime. This is when you start receiving the accumulation of the past thirteen years of raising your child.
Naturally, that is when they start rebelling and stating who they are in the way they believe is appropriate even when we don’t believe so. There is so much in common between raising a teenager and the terrible twos as during both stages our children are experimenting with new things and pushing their boundaries, that is why there is a whole section in coaching called coaching for parents, where they can coach their kids and how to deal with them in the right way.
Along with pushing their boundaries comes having tantrums and saying no to everything that comes along their way. Children during their teenage years start to pull away from their parents and start establishing their own independence. Sometimes, they may view themselves as the center of the universe.
Learn more about different parenting skills and teen coaching through our course from here
What Exactly Are Teenage Years?
The teenage years are when our children start to make decisions in their life that can have serious consequences in the next three to five years.
The important decisions that they can make during those years are whether or not to start driving, substance use, how well they do in school, and their choice of friends which can determine a lot.
Therefore, so many teenagers are prone to taking risks and making decisions that may be impulsive. This can all be very challenging for a parent and nerve-wracking too, therefore, parents must possess more friendship traits and fewer parenting traits such as advising.
How To Coach Your Kids?
To help your teenager get through their years in the most peaceful way is to be a trusting parent that they can confide in as this is more important than ever. Staying in a close relationship with them during this phase is not easy because teenagers may not be very gracious when they decide to reject their parent’s interference. They can definitely be open book to their friends in school and on their social media profiles but are very muted when one of their parents asks them how their day went. A request by their parents that may be very reasonable might be met with a grievous tantrum and outrage.
It is very important that you remind yourself as a parent to take a deep breath and to know that it is just a phase that will pass just like the terrible twos have passed. Here are a few tips to navigate through this phase with the least amount of loss:
1. Listen. Asking them direct questions may not be the optimal solution to get the outcome you want. Rather, sit back and listen to them actively and effectively as they are more likely to share information with you when they don’t feel obliged to do so.
2. Empathy. It is very important to validate their feelings and emotions. Never try downplaying their disappointments or solving their problems. Instead, show them how much you understand what it is like to be in their place.
3. Trust. Show them that you trust them and can take them seriously. Ask them for favors to prove to them that you believe you can rely on them. Let them know by asking them for their opinion on matters that you have faith in them because this will boost their confidence.